FOUR RECENT CONVERSATIONS

I AM PLANNING IN THE NEAR FUTURE ON DOING SOMETHING REALLY WELL FOR A VERY LONG TIME

D: Go brush your teeth.

Z: I would but . . . the next time I do it, I’m going to do it really well--and it will take me 12 years.

IMPRECISION IS THE ENEMY

Z: Did you know when Daddy first moved to Chicago a long time ago, he lived in a neighborhood and it was dangerous?

L: I did. Albany Park.

Z: What?

L: It was called Albany Park.

Z: Guess it should have been called I Got A Lot of Guns Park.

THE RULES OF PUNCTUATION

Z: I think I will put a period right there [points at my forehead]

L: Why’s that?

Z: Because you’re not . . . very exciting.

UNCOMFORTABILITY: THE NEW SUPERPOWER

L: So you’re going to be Aquagirl for your school project! Are you going to dress up like her?

Z: Just the shirt.

L: What does Aguagirl do? I don’t even know.

Z: Well "aqua" means water. And her superpower is she makes everybody around the whole wide world feel awkward.